longlonghair: (short scarf)
[personal profile] longlonghair
Has it really only been four years? It seems more like a hundred since she last sat in Joel's chair for one of her three daily haircuts. For him, she's only been gone a few hours. She'd been in this same spot at 8:00 this morning and had gone out for what limited activities the strict rules of Fabletown allow her.

And now? And now? Are there words to describe who lost she feels in her old life?

She feels the scissors snip away the thirty-two inches of hair and listens to Joel ask about how she spent her day. She fights back the tears that want to gather in her eyes and hopes she makes the appropriate non-committal noises in reply. Something in her voice must give her away, because her friend has real concern in his voice when he pauses in putting his scissors away and asks her what's wrong.

"It's nothing," she answers, wiping away a stray tear. It's everything! "It's just a woman thing. A cup of tea and a nap will sort me out. See you at midnight."

He looks uncomfortable at the mention of women things and doesn't press her further.

As she leaves, she cannot help but turn and open the door to Joel's place hopefully, but the bar is not where she left it, apparently. She hides her disappointment for long enough to murmur an excuse at Joel's questioning look, then makes her escape.

She holds back her tears for as long as it takes to get back to her apartment, then lets a sob loose at the sight of her familiar little home where nothing smells like Alex, and nothing has his imprint upon it and there are no scraps of paper with cryptic notes left laying around...

"I never should have come back."
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March 2011

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